The Gentlemen’s Book Of Etiquette

Produktdetails

Verlag

Dead Dodo Education

Erschienen

2015

Sprache

English

Seiten

361

Infos

361 Seiten

ISBN

978-1-5080-8337-5

Kurztext / Annotation

Ever wondered what to do in polite society if you find an insect in your food? Or how a gentleman should ask a lady to dance? And what on earth is the etiquette for smoking cigars? First published in 1860, Cecil B. Hartley's classic guide to gentlemanly behaviour is a veritable mine of information and indispensable advice for aspiring gentlemen. No matter if a man finds himself at a party, meeting someone new or travelling abroad, he has but to leaf through this book to learn how best to behave, and indeed how not to behave. And if he can find time between his numerous invitations to balls and hunting parties, he could benefit from a perusal of the sections on gentlemanly deportment and conversational technique. Not forgetting, of course, the all-important advice on how to treat ladies, surely an integral part of any true gentleman's training. Published here in a stunning edition alongside The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, this is the perfect gift for the would-be gentleman in your life. While it's an excellent volume for dipping into for hilarious nuggets of outdated advice, this guide also contains advice on all manner of topics, from beard-keeping to chivalry, that are just as relevant today as they were in Cecil B. Hartley's time. As he says himself: 'Once a gentleman always a gentleman' and be sure that you can so carry out the rule, that in your most careless, joyous moments, when freest from the restraints of etiquette, you can still be recognizable as a gentleman by every act, word, or look.

Textauszug

CHAPTER I. CONVERSATION

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ONE OF THE FIRST RULES for a guide in polite conversation, is to avoid political or religious discussions in general society. Such discussions lead almost invariably to irritating differences of opinion, often to open quarrels, and a coolness of feeling which might have been avoided by dropping the distasteful subject as soon as marked differences of opinion arose. It is but one out of many that can discuss either political or religious differences, with candor and judgment, and yet so far control his language and temper as to avoid either giving or taking offence.

In their place, in circles which have met for such discussions, in a tête à tête conversation, in a small party of gentlemen where each is ready courteously to listen to the others, politics may be discussed with perfect propriety, but in the drawing-room, at the dinner-table, or in the society of ladies, these topics are best avoided.

If you are drawn into such a discussion without intending to be so, be careful that your individual opinion does not lead you into language and actions unbecoming a gentleman. Listen courteously to those whose opinions do not agree with yours, and keep your temper . A man in a passion ceases to be a gentleman.

Even if convinced that your opponent is utterly wrong, yield gracefully, decline further discussion, or dextrously turn the conversation, but do not obstinately defend your own opinion until you become angry, or more excited than is becoming to a gentleman.

Many there are who, giving their opinion, not as an opinion but as a law , will defend their position by such phrases, as: "Well, if I were president, or governor, I would," &c.-and while by the warmth of their argument they prove that they are utterly unable to govern their own temper, they will endeavor to persuade you that they are perfectly competent to take charge of the government of the nation.

Retain, if you will, a fixed political opinion, yet do not parade it upon all occasions, and, above all, do not endeavor to force others to agree with you. Listen calmly to their ideas upon the same subjects, and if you cannot agree, differ politely, and while your opponent may set you down as a bad politician, let him be obliged to admit that you are a gentleman .

Wit and vivacity are two highly important ingredients in the conversation of a man in polite society, yet a straining for effect, or forced wit, is in excessively bad taste. There is no one more insupportable in society than the everlasting talkers who scatter puns, witticisms, and jokes with so profuse a hand that they become as tiresome as a comic newspaper, and whose loud laugh at their own wit drowns other voices which might speak matter more interesting. The really witty man does not shower forth his wit so indiscriminately; his charm consists in wielding his powerful weapon delicately and easily, and making each highly polished witticism come in the right place and moment to be effectual. While real wit is a most delightful gift, and its use a most charming accomplishment, it is, like many other bright weapons, dangerous to use too often. You may wound where you meant only to amuse, and remarks which you mean only in for general applications, may be construed into personal affronts, so, if you have the gift, use it wisely, and not too freely.

The most important requisite for a good conversational power is education, and, by this is meant, not merely the matter you may store in your memory from observation or books, though this is of vast importance, but it also includes the developing of the mental powers, and, above all, the comprehension. An English writer says, "A man should be able, in order to enter into conversation, to catch rapidly the meaning of anything that is advanced; for instance, though you know nothing of scienc

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